Naija @ 51: The COMEDY of our TRAGEDY

“No matter how independent you may think you are, he who pays the viper dictates the poison”

DANGER: ABUJA Beware!!!!!!!!!!!

On October 1, 2011, The Movement for the Emancipation of the Niger Delta (MEND) intends to place bombs within and in the immediate vicinity of Eagle square, venue for the proposed 2011 independence anniversary celebrations. After fifty one years of independence, Nigerians still have nothing to celebrate. The general public is strongly advised to consider this as a first and final warning. No additional warnings will be issued subsequent to deployment or detonation of these devices which will be novel in nature. (NEXT newspaper, 30^th september)

The conversations of angry men

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you happy birthday to you Nigeria,

 happy deathday (sorry, I mean happy birthday to you!!!

Hip! Hip!! Hip!!!… hurr… boom boom…Yeh… ori iya mi o…

 What the hell is that? What does it sound like, bomb of course, hope you came with an helmet? No, what for? See this one o! Are you not in this country? Yes and then. A warning has been placed in the newspaper yesterday prior to this independence anniversary. So why did it still hold, well we are use to bomb ofcourse! How do you mean?  Well, there is hardly a day here without bomb or bomb threat?

 And what is the Management doing about it? Maybe the question should be whether there is management at all, common stop that none sense I mean the executive, legislature and the judiciary. Interesting! Thank God you can still remember your secondary school government but you see Salawa, those things only exist in theory, yes, only on paper.

 For the executive, the president has spoken their mind-terrorism has come to stay. He said and I quote “terrorism happens everywhere in the world, maybe it is the time of Nigeria to experience it” Chikena!

What of the judiciary?  They are fine, the president who doubles as their spokes person has also assured us that the court is no longer ‘a court of justice but a court of law’… so, even if bokom Haram and MEND are arrested justice within the Nigeria judicial system is HARAM just like the days of the formal chief Justice.

And the legislature? Oh! Those ones, the legislative house is divided against itself already, how can it stand, do you think they have finished their open brawl, never! Everybody is busy learning how to punch they don’t have time for any legislation today, come tomorrow, if fact one of the criteria for contesting for the post of a senator or a house of representative member is your ability to fight the last enemy with your physical strength in the face of a camera that broadcast the combat across the whole Nigeria!
Na wah o ! Well my friend as we celebrate this 51^st anniversary let everyone hold helmet o, not against crash but against bomb.